Have you heard... You don't have to be from New York City to appreciate a good deli...

I will start with an apology to my small band of dedicated readers and especially to our good friends Jennie and Dan.  As they were the instigators of our 2020 President's Day pilgrimage.  Many moons ago my lovely wife and I would join another couple and venture down to Cincinnati on President's Day to visit the IKEA store there as well as Jungle Jim's.  Everyone besides me had a holiday at work and I was able to schedule a vacation day without much difficulty.  Of course, the only reason I was willing to use a vacation day only to suffer through the seemingly endless maze of an IKEA store was the promise of a healthy portion of delicious Swedish meatballs for lunch.  Turns out they have some pretty cool kitchen stuff there too.  (sheepish grin)  Even if there wasn't a single good reason to spend 2 - 3 hours at IKEA, I would do it anyway as the price of a visit to Jungle Jim's.  Many of you are probably already aware that Jungle Jim's rivals any IKEA store in terms of the complexity of the store layout.  Big difference is that Jungle Jim's is all about FOOD. 

I feel the best way to describe Jungle Jim's is to say that it is a grocery supermarket on The Clear.  That's right.  Jungle Jim's is not just on garden variety steroids, but hyper-effective professional -grade designer steroids.  Fortunately, in this case you don't have to submit to screening for performance-enhancing substances when you are done shopping.  Although if you did have to, their restrooms are best in class.  Perhaps that would somewhat temper the indignity of it all.   It seems as usual, I have bounced out of orbit just setting up the focus of this post.  It has been a number of years since we made the Cincy pilgrimage.  Mostly because we now have an IKEA store practically in our neighborhood.  No Jungle Jim's yet, but one can dream.   

Our 2020 President's Day jaunt was a much shorter drive.  We needed to connect with Jennie and Dan to take delivery on some farm-fresh eggs.  I am not sure how I was unaware of it until recently, but Jennie's Mom Rosie has quite a large flock of laying hens.  I suppose the reason I was unaware was that I already had another good friend who also happened to be a great source for farm-fresh eggs.  Her name is Cheryl and I have told her a hundred times or more that she is the hardest working person I know.  Works a demanding day job and is an exceptional farmer too. Unfortunately, the predators had taken a toll on Cheryl's flock over the summer.  So I experienced a temporary supply shortage until she could get a replacement flock into production.  Cheryl's ducks seemed to be taking a long Christmas vacation too.  I rationed my supply as best I could, but Cheryl has me hooked.  I just can't buy eggs in the grocery store anymore.  I have yet to find one that even offers duck eggs.  Nothing against the chickens, but a couple of over-easy duck eggs for breakfast (or lunch or dinner) is the stuff dreams are made of.

Since Jennie and Dan live near Plain City, we quickly established Der Dutchman as a suitable rendezvous point.  We simply couldn't leave without at least hitting the bakery counter and grabbing a donut for each of us.  I am sure you are asking yourself... Why only one?  It is because the donuts at Der Dutchman are four times the size of your average donut.  Maybe Der Dutchman donuts are on The Clear too?  (sly grin)  While waiting our turn at the counter, Jennie also mentioned their next stop would be Yutzy's Market.  I didn't realize they were open year-round.  I always thought of them as strictly a produce market open in the summer and early fall.  It didn't take much arm-twisting for us to join them at the next stop.  And, yes, I stood beside the car in the parking lot and thoroughly enjoyed every morsel of that donut.  No way I would eat it in the car as it was coated with granulated sugar and it would have been ALL OVER the interior of Beth's car and my shirt too.  Luckily, it was an unseasonably warm day with no precipitation. 

Much to my joy and amazement, Yutzy's has a plethora of year-round offerings.  Amish specialties, gourmet munchies, sauces, pickles and other canned goods, and a deli that makes me want to drive there every other day.  The selection of meats and cheeses they offer is a cut above your ordinary supermarket and the prices are substantially lower.  Their staff work with the speed and precision of a NASCAR pit crew.  In spite of their efficiency, there was still quite a long line of customers waiting.  It was well worth the wait.  I don't mind waiting in line in good company anyway.  When I am alone, I try to make friends while I wait.  Have I mentioned I met my best friend (and Best Man) Mat in the registration line at Purdue - North Central?  (big smile and story for another day)  I am embarrassed to report that prior to this writing, we have consumed nearly all the goodies we purchased at Yutzy's.  I use the word almost because I had to put the pastrami in the freezer where it will shiver away like a scared schoolchild until I can find a good loaf of pumpernickel bread to go with it. Nothing quite like a good pastrami Reuben.  Mmmmm.  Hopefully, this post is worth the wait too.

In the meantime, please join me on Saturday, February 29 from 11:30 am - 1:30 pm at the American Legion Post in Worthington.  The Buckeye Military Moms are hosting a chili cook-off and yours truly is signed up.  Exact details are available at the link below.

Your Dining Scout and Shadetree Chef,
Michael Hurd, aka Big Mike

Der Dutchman
445 S. Jefferson Route 42
Plain City, OH 43064

Yutzy's Market
6010 Converse Huff Road
Plain City, OH 43064

Chili Cook-Off Flyer
http://www.buckeyemilitarymoms.org/uploads/3/4/4/3/34433719/chilicookoffflyer2020.pdf

PS - It occurred to me that my prior apology to Mr. Profitt and Mrs. MacCorkle and all English teachers in between was misdirected.  It should have been an apology strictly to Mrs. MacCorkle.  She was my senior (high school) English teacher and she is the one who taught me how to write for others.    Since this post already feels a bit long, I will save details on how she influenced my writing style for later.  

Have you heard.... Some banks hold things other than money and they taste way better too...

Can you hear it calling to you like the aliens did
to Richard Dreyfus' character in
Close Encounters of the Third Kind?

I know there may be only a few of my dedicated readership that have ever been to Evansville, Indiana.  It is a little known fact that I have yet to visit there myself, despite having many good reasons to do so.  The biggest of these being my sister and her family live there.  I am embarrassed to say how long they have lived there.  I am not engaging in any sort of intentional boycott or protest.  Just never got my act together in planning and executing the trip.  Some day soon I will.  

Even if you don't have any family there, I can give you at least two good reasons to make the trip.  The first of which is the inspiration for my post.  A local enterprise called Donut Bank Bakery (The Donut Bank).  Now I know you probably can think of many good donut shops in your local area.  I know I have touted many here in Central Ohio - Auddino's Italian Bakery, Amy's Donuts, and Destination Donuts just to name a few.  Prior to my sampling of The Donut Bank red velvet glazed graciously delivered to me by my sister, I would have put Amy's at the top of my red velvet donut list.  Amy's offers a few varieties of red velvet year-round.  The Donut Bank only offers red velvet in donut form seasonally in February.  

I am sure your mind is full of all sorts of questions....  Do they ship? (no)  Where is my closest location of The Donut Bank?  (only in and around Evansville, IN)  Most importantly, why did she bring only one donut?  Are you that special that she only brought one for you and neglected everyone else in the family?  (no)  You see, we all make rookie mistakes.  When we try something new, our lack of experience can lead to poor judgement.  When launching headlong into unknown territory, we don't know where the rocks are that may hinder us.  Even though my sister has been to The Donut Bank many times before, she has never visited on a Friday morning.  In this case it was also Valentine's Day Friday.  She didn't anticipate the increased demand on this particular Friday morning nearly depleting the supply of freshly made red velvet deliciousness.  When she stepped to the counter at 8:45 am, she was only able to buy one.  A second stop at another location didn't yield even one.  At this point, she decided against making any further stops and headed to Central Ohio.

Having been subjected to they hype over the years, I started campaigning early that I should be the one to put the lonely red velvet donut out of its misery.  Thankfully, no treachery was required.  I am certainly capable of it, but ethical persuasion was all that was needed.  I suppose I should feel bad on some level for my unwillingness to share it meaningfully, but I don't.  (sinister laugh)  I am not entirely selfish though.  I did allow my wife to sample a bite of it.  (earnest grin)  As you can see in the accompanying photographs, it was thoroughly enjoyed with a complement of vanilla ice cream.  I don't think I can say enough good things about that poor lonely donut.  The flavor and texture of it far exceeded my ridiculously high expectations.  Yes, it is true...  The Donut Bank red velvet glazed is officially the stuff dreams are made of.  

Gone in an instant, but every insanely delicious
morsel will be remembered.

I will close with a few caveats.  The first being that you need to make your trip to The Donut Bank before the end of February or you will have to wait until 2021.  The second may be self-evident - call in your order in advance to be sure they will have the desired quantity waiting for you.  They offer red velvet donuts with glaze or cream cheese frosting.  

Bring one back for me too.  Pretty please.  (smile as big as Texas)

Your Dining Scout and Shadetree Chef,
Michael Hurd aka Big Mike

PS - Just in case you were wondering what the second reason is... Evansville has a Taco John's too.  

Have you Heard... Hang Over Easy just got even easier...

I am sure no matter where you live, there are restaurants you would enjoy visiting if only they weren't such a challenge logistically.  You know what I mean, parking is either more than a mile away... Or...  The parking costs twice as much as the meal...  Or maybe the meter maids lurk around like the villains in Mad Max Beyond Thunderdome wielding parking fines like a medieval mace and don't tolerate well-meaning excuses at all... In our house, the area that we consider off-limits is anywhere within a few blocks of The Ohio State University (OSU) campus.  At least when the students are in session and their byzantine parking rules are in effect.  I feel like it may just be a scheme to boost non-tuition revenue, as I feel I need an advanced mathematics degree to even have a shot at divining where it is acceptable to park at any given day and time.  Adding a $45 parking fine will make any meal cost-prohibitive.  At least in my household. 

Thankfully, one of the places I had heretofore never visited has opened a second location nowhere near the OSU campus.  Hang Over Easy is now open at the corner of Oak and Parsons in the space formerly occupied by the Black Creek Bistro.  It has only been open a short while and I have visited at least a half dozen times.  A good breakfast at lunch time is a rare treat for me.  Each time, I have dined with a different set of friends.  I am sure I will be back again soon with even more friends and hopefully my lovely wife too.  Although breakfast served at later times of the day doesn't appeal to her as it does to me. 

It was upon one of my more recent visits that I discovered the beauty of their counter seating.  My good friend Justin and I settled down there awhile back and it was a perfect meal.  As my hearing is quite bad these days, I appreciate the quiet a lot more than I used to.  A place where you can converse without yelling and I don't have to ask anyone to repeat themselves three times or more is a blessing for me and anyone else in my company.  Just ask my wife.  (sly grin)  The improved environment is due to a couple of factors.  The background music was muted as compared to the main dining room.  It also removed us from the din of multiple nearby conversations. Taking the two stools at the corner of the counter made it quite a bit easier to chat between ourselves.  Discovered that I may not be the only one who appreciates a measure of quiet.  I have been unable to find seating at the counter on my last couple of visits, in spite of the ample available seating in the main dining room.  It seems the counter seating has developed a solid fan base.  Even still, their breakfast offerings are so scrumptious...  I am willing to deal with the background noise in the main dining room when necessary. 

If you are likewise a fan of all-day breakfast, I would encourage you to make a trip down to Hang Over Easy in the Old Town East neighborhood. There are too many delectable options for me to recommend one in particular.  Actually, I take that back. Order anything on the breakfast menu and wash it down with a chocolate shake.  It will improve your day.  Maybe even your week.  Since I failed to take any photos, please close your eyes and envision an empty plate and glass with the remains of what was clearly the chocolate shake of your dreams.  (smile as big as Texas)


Your Dining Scout and Shade Tree Chef,
Michael Hurd, aka Big Mike

Hang Over Easy
53 Parsons Ave
Columbus, OH 43215
https://www.hangovereasy.com/

In what may soon become a standard disclaimer.  My apologies to Mr. Profitt and Mrs. MacCorkle and the rest of my English teachers over the years.  Any grammatical errors or misspellings are solely my fault and not due to any lack of quality instruction on your part.  My editor-in-chief will be back soon. 

Have you heard.... Something good to read to your cat (or cats)....

No, this isn't the entire supply.  Just the most recent purchase.
Money well spent.

I know this post may not be entirely food-related, but I still felt it worthy of sharing with my small, but dedicated readership.  In my defense, the story started with a food-related mission.  I received an urgent email from Williams-Sonoma letting me know that seasonal food items were available for ridiculously low prices both online and in store.  I am unsure I have mentioned it previously, but there exists a moderate addiction in my household to the Williams-Sonoma hot chocolate mixes.  They are quite pricey when sold at full price, so it has become an annual game for me and mine to wait like a cat surveying unwitting prey.  Patiently awaiting the proper moment to pounce.  The signal as it relates to hot chocolate mix is the post-holiday sale notification.  When that arrives, it usually means a roughly 50 percent discount and the buying here commences in earnest.  Occasionally, any available supply that withstands that initial onslaught is advertised again even later in the new year to clear it out before Valentine's Day.  Even more bulk purchasing ensues.  Ensuring we don't run out before the next annual sale.  After all, the promise of a warm mug of rich hot chocolate with a snowdrift of mini marshmallows floating invitingly on top will make any day go better... period...  If it's a really rough day, adults are welcome to enhance with a generous splash of their cordial of choice.  Now that I have secured my supply, I urge you to find your nearest Williams Sonoma and get some for yourself.  (earnest grin)  My only caveat is that you may find yourself likewise addicted and unable to drink hot cocoa from anywhere else.

In a desire to beat the crowd over to Easton, we broke early on Saturday morning.  Shocking, I know.  although in this case early means a little after 10:00 am.  This left us with a bit of time to kill before Shake Shack opened.  Oops...  Another food-related angle I mentally overlooked.  So closely related to the primary mission - seasonal shake offering, you know.  They call it frozen hot chocolate.  Having sampled it, I would encourage you to do the same as time permits.

Anyhoo... Getting back to the point of this post.  In that time we had to kill, I stumbled across a good book at Bink Davies I just had to mention to you all.  I know that discussing gun safety these days can be fraught with difficulty.  I imagine even more so when trying to discuss it with your cat.  Their tendency to distance themselves with an air of aloofness and disinterest may give the impression that they rarely, if ever, listen to you.  Even still, I think this book should ease the conversation.  And hopefully offer some good humor for you and your cat too.  I did a quick search on the inter-web and discovered it is also available for purchase online, if you are too far from Easton to pick up your copy there.

Yes, I did laugh out loud.  Maybe the one time
in my life I wished I had a pet cat.  

I didn't pick up a copy for myself for one simple reason.  I do not have a pet cat and the feral cats in my neighborhood flee in my presence.  I sincerely doubt my offer of story hour would change that behavior.  If you have a cat, and avail yourself of a copy of the book...  Please let me know how it is received by your feline friend.  Always curious to know if others share my affinity for such things.

In the meantime, pray that you are able to stay warm regardless of Punxsutawney Phil's prognostications about the length of winter in 2020.  I will also offer my apologies in advance for any spelling or grammatical errors.  My editor-in-chief is otherwise engaged and I wanted to get this post out timely.

Your Dining Scout and Shadetree Chef,
 Big Mike